It converted strangers into relatives and extended cooperative relations beyond the immediate family or small band by creating far-flung networks of in-laws," explains author Stephanie Coontz in Marriage, a History. Eventually, "as civilizations got more complex and stratified, the role of marriage in acquiring in-laws changed This system of marriage as a means of economic and political advancement was nearly universal until about the late eighteenth century, when social norms started to shift towards people choosing their spouses based on love and personal affection rather than political or economic expediency.
And y'all, this was a radical change, which many thought was irrational and would almost certainly end in disaster. By the nineteenth century, "Most Europeans and Americans came to accept a new view of husbands as providers and of wives as nurturing homemakers," explains Coontz. So, now knowing the backgwound of maww — er, I'm sorry, the background of marriage itself, how does the proposal play into this? So, let's cut to the chase of the most unpleasant part of this discussion — the fact that until very recently, for almost the entire time that the concept of marriage has existed, women have been treated as property.
Back in the days of marriage as a transaction, the families of the people getting married would negotiate a deal, and the bride was a key part of that transaction. Women would be traded from one family to another in exchange for land, offers of protection, or to secure her family's social position.
In other cases, women were married off as a means of settling or paying a debt. Because women had almost no say in whether or not they got married let alone to whom the men were, indisputably, the ones who sought marriage.
Around the time people started to marry for love rather than collective benefit, about the late s, there was the delicate matter of whether women would be able to choose their own mate. Women had long been considered too emotional and irrational to be trusted to select a good husband, and that mindset continued to inform how love marriages evolved.
Because men supposedly had more to lose by getting married, they were considered to be the more rational, level-headed decision makers. And so, they remained the ones driving the proverbial love train, and the tradition of men being the ones to propose continued.
The lone exception to the ban on women-led proposals occurs on Leap Day — when, according to Irish legend , St. Brigit of Kildare supposedly brokered a deal with St.
Patrick in which women were allowed to propose to men, but only on February This was supposedly done in an effort to balance out traditional gender roles St. Brigit, props for your proto-feminism! And, hence, the Amy Adams movie. However, it brought with it an ugly practice — Leap Year proposals were relentlessly ridiculed and mocked.
Women who proposed were portrayed as ugly, aggressive, and desperate — so much so, in fact, that Leap Day illustrations from depict men going to any means necessary to avoid such threats of marriage. Think men hiding in trees while women sporting elongated, witch-like noses go marauding with lassos. Thankfully, people eventually moved away from the idea that women were property to be bought, sold, or traded.
This year has brought a lot of loss and many people are missing their loved ones from the dinner table. So, for me, it was a wake-up call that tomorrow isn't promised and I need to let this woman know I want her to be my wife. Hence, I popped the question. How He Proposed: Jordan arranged for a surprise proposal at their church as well as an engagement photo shoot immediately following the proposal.
We have talked every single day since the very first day we met. I honestly couldn't imagine going a day without talking to her. It's like we are perfect for each other. We complement each other so well and I truly see her as my companion. She helps me to be a better man. She has done so much for me and no one has ever treated me the way she treats me.
That's how I knew I was ready. I have so much to be thankful for from her, so putting a ring on it was really the least I could do. I love that girl so much. Not a day goes by where she isn't the first person I think of when I wake up and the last when I fall asleep.
I tell her all the time that she deserves everything and I mean that. I'm so blessed to have her in my life and I can't wait to marry her. Shonda Brown White is a bestselling author, blogger, life coach, and brand strategist. When she's not jumping out of a plane or zip lining, she's living the married life with her husband in Atlanta, GA. Connect with her on social ShondaBWhite and her empowering real talk on her blog. Paula Patton is a woman of mixed-race heritage.
Her mother is white and her father is Black, however, she doesn't consider herself to be biracial. Back in , the actress spoke with Women's Health and revealed that she was often judged because of her racial background. She went on to say that she even disliked the term "biracial. People aren't calling Barack Obama biracial. Most people think there's a Black president. When speaking with Clay, the year-old actress doubled down on her previous comments and further explained why she saw herself as a Black woman versus a biracial woman.
She continued, "So I've always found that to be an offensive term. I'm Black, and I embrace — you know, that's my family.
Historically, a person was considered Black if they have one-eighth or more drop of blood from a Black person, but over time, conversations about whether or not a biracial person is considered Black has been a hot topic especially since there has been an increase in the number of multiracial people in America and in the world. Many have argued that they should be allowed to label themselves however they see fit. And while there are many people of mixed race who identify as Black, there are others who identify as biracial such as Meghan Markle, Mariah Carey, and Rashida Jones.
Whenever I have clients who are engaged , something that I make sure to say to them, almost every session, is it's important to understand that oftentimes, what causes the end of a marital union isn't anything "big".
Nah, it's more about the little irritants that, after a few years of them happening over and over again, it starts to drive one or both partners so completely up the wall that they would rather be alone than have to continue to endure what is basically the equivalent of listening to fingernails on the chalkboard.
And what does this have to do with the title of today's post? Well, a "chalkboard issue" can actually be if you are a morning person while your partner is a night owl. It can affect sleeping patterns. It can affect pillow talk i. It can affect your sex life.
So yeah, if you're contemplating sharing your bedroom , every day with someone, for years to come, definitely discuss who gets up at 5 a. Speaking of morning people, if you've ever wondered just what causes someone to be all bright-eyed and bushy tailed before the sun even thinks about rising or if you're someone who would like to become more of a morning person, I thought you would find some of this intel interesting.
Because, apparently, morning people don't "just happen". It goes so much deeper than that. OK, so before we get into what the personality traits of a morning person appear to be, let's first touch on what chronotypes are. As far as chronotypes go, they basically break down into four different categories that have the names of animals:.
In order to learn more about chronotypes and what they entail, the blog Casper has a great read on it here also, if you want to take a quiz to find out what type you are, click here. The reason why it can be a good idea to get to know that your personal chronotype is, is because it can give you greater insight into why your days naturally go the way that they do.
It can also help you to better understand what kind of "tweaking" you would need to implement if you happen to want to be more productive during your early morning hours even if it's just temporarily. OK, so now that you get why you may naturally or naturally not be a morning type of person, let's explore what the personality of a morning person is like. Aight, so with that ah-ha moment for some being out of the way, what are the traits of a morning kind of individual?
I mean, really — what is it about a person who can jump out of bed singing, having a burst of energy and being so optimistic before the day even officially begins that roosters are even giving them a perpetual side-eye? When I thought about this from the angle of some of the married clients that I work with, I can definitely cosign on this.
One couple, in particular, that I've worked with before, the husband is an engineer and the wife is in the entertainment industry. He is definitely an early morning person while she is a night owl and when I think about how they approach life, he is so Type A conscientious and self-disciplined that it can almost be suffocating.
Meanwhile, for example, he's not even a good flyer he's pretty close to being afraid to fly while his wife travels for a living and doesn't give it much of a second thought open-minded, thrill-seeking. If it wasn't for him being so over-the-top with his disciplined lifestyle especially financially , I'm pretty sure she'd be close to flat broke; meanwhile, if it wasn't for her "hey, let's try it" outlook on life, he would be boring — and limited — as hell.
Bottom line, there is nothing wrong with being a morning person — or not being one. There are benefits and advantages to both. Now what I will say about morning people is it's a lot easier to get a lot more done when you're up in the wee hours of the day and knocking out a lot of what needs to be done. Not only that but a lot of the morning folks who I personally know tend to be less stressed because they oftentimes get so much done before noon.
That's why, even if you're not a morning person, I am in full support of you at least considering getting up earlier, a couple of days a week, in order to make the most of your time.
And just how do you do that? Again, there's nothing wrong with not being a morning person. Still, if there is a part of you that knows you would be better off being more conscientious and self-disciplined so that you can get more out of your own morning time, here are some ways to make that happen.
Get on a sleep schedule. How crazy is it that a lot of us think kids should be on a sleep schedule, but we shouldn't? Because the CDC even says that grown folks should get no less than seven hours of sleep every night, so that you can be more alert and refreshed come sunrise, and because that is so much easier to do when you have your own nighttime routine, you definitely should put yourself on a sleep schedule.
Sleep earlier. Awaken earlier. Out of all of the hacks to help you become more of a morning person, this one might be my favorite because it's so easy to implement. Basically, if you want to wake up 30 minutes earlier, it's probably best to go to bed 30 minutes earlier as well.
That way, the extra zzz's that you're missing on the back end, you can get on the front. Nix the naps. However, I'm also someone who enjoys sleeping like it's Six Flags or something.
Watch what you eat and drink. Have mercy, Lawd. Why am I finally at that age where drinking something an hour before bed will get me up twice in the middle of the night, making it harder to go to sleep? Have sex. I'm not sure what can make you sleep better and harder than having some good sex before turning in.
From a scientific standpoint, orgasms have the ability to reduce your stress levels while also producing the hormones oxytocin and prolactin in your system. Both of these work together in order to mellow you out, put you in a good mood and also make you feel safe and secure with your partner —and all of these are the foundation of a great night's rest. That's why sex before going to sleep can improve your quality of sleep.
And morning sex can inspire you to set your alarm clock 30 minutes earlier so that you can get out of bed with a big smile on your face.
Hell, who said it had to be either or? Why not both? Give yourself something to look forward to every morning. Let me tell it, what I just said in the point above this should count as something to look forward to; however, if sex isn't on the docket for whatever the reason , still try and give yourself a reason to want to wake up earlier — a favorite breakfast food, time to read a chapter of a book or listen to your favorite podcast, a few minutes to catch up with a friend…anything that can make raising your head off of your pillow not the top thing on your list to do the following morning.
I know we kinda covered a lot of ground here — what are chronotypes of sleepers, what are the traits of morning people and how to become more of a morning person yourself. Yet I hope that the greatest takeaway is 1 morning people are oftentimes born more than made; 2 their ability to be morning people resonates in more than their sleeping patterns because I don't know about you but most of the morning people that I know are extremely self-disciplined and 3 you can create ways to enjoy the morning more than you might think.
It's all about choosing to not view the early hours as your "enemy" but as a way to make the most of your time — from sunrise to sunset. For more inspiration, self-care, and healing tips, check out xoNecole's Wellness section here. On any given day, no matter my destination, you can find me in at least one article of men's clothing, specifically suiting. When I'm not wearing an oversized vintage blazer, then I'll be more than likely layering a men's button up as a substitute for a lightweight jacket.
What I love most about menswear is the overall comfort and not being confined to material that restricts my range of motion. Also, being tall and curvy , it's sometimes impossible to get that oversized feel when shopping within the women's department. Over the years, I've gotten my hands on a plethora of blazers and button downs, even men's trousers in many different colors and prints but lately I've embraced suiting with a more feminine approach.
With men's suiting, there's only so many styles that are available. Mostly designed with classic silhouettes, this fall, I want to embrace more trendy and stylish pieces in line with the modern masculine twist that I love so much.
Keep scrolling to check out these menswear-inspired looks that are all woman. The moment I saw this blazer, I knew I had to have it. Perfect to catch an evening drink with the girls or a night out with bae, this outfit is not only chic but incredibly comfortable as well. Beyond its super stylish twisted knot detail and trendy side cut-outs, it's the perfect color for fall.
Keeping it seasonally appropriate, I paired a slim black leather pant and matching mules for a professional yet sultry look.
I couldn't forget my accessories, so I went with a two-toned gold linked chain necklace along with a tortoise print acrylic box bag to complete this look. See all. The most read 1. Find everything you need Greater London. Greater Manchester. West Midlands. West Yorkshire. East Sussex. City of Bristol. Cornwall and Isles of Scilly. See more articles.
United Kingdom. Mary Me Eventos Would you like to get married in Portugal? Discover this Destination Weddings Expert. Visit Web.
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