Perhaps the most egregious reason people divorce is one spouse is the victim of abuse in one form or another. Abuse can mean domestic violence occurred during the relationship or substance abuse.
Our office represents many clients of domestic violence. Domestic violence goes beyond bruises and broken bones. Many victims of domestic violence do not experience, at least at first, physical violence from their spouse. Often, it starts with some form of control over the spouse such as financial control or control over who the spouse spends time with. Perpetrators of domestic violence also commonly control who the other spouse has access to or spends time with.
They will limit the spouses time with their families or friends. Domestic violence, no matter the form it takes, is unacceptable and victims need a way out. Divorce provides one way out for the victim. Although getting out of the relationship is often easier said than done. If you are the victim of domestic violence, consult with an experienced attorney that is aware of the challenges victims face when leaving the relationship.
At Burggraff Tash Levy, we are experienced in representing victims of domestic violence. If you are in this situation, contact us today to schedule a consultation.
Substance abuse is another reason people seek divorce. Commonly, substance abuse is not present or known at the beginning of the relationship, but gets worse over time. Once the substance abuse is discovered, some people file for divorce immediately.
Other people do not file for divorce right away and instead attempt to work through the problem with their spouse. Appropriate treatment is often successful, and people have no need to file for divorce. There are times when divorce is necessary, but those in other circumstances often later indicate they wish they would have tried harder before divorcing. There are many factors that place a couple at higher risk for divorce.
It may be helpful to know some of the statistics and findings outlined below. Although divorce has always been a part of American society, divorce has become more common in the last 50 years. Changes in the laws have made divorce much easier. The highest divorce rates ever recorded were in the s and early s. Divorce rates have decreased since that time, but still remain high.
Over the years, researchers have determined certain factors that put people at higher risk for divorce: marrying young, limited education and income, living together before a commitment to marriage, premarital pregnancy, no religious affiliation, coming from a divorced family, and feelings of insecurity.
Young age. Marriage at a very young age increases the likelihood of divorce, especially in the early years of marriage. Less education. Research shows that those with at least some college education vs. Less income. Having a modest income can help couples avoid stress that may lead to divorce. Premarital cohabitation. Couples who live together before marriage appear to have a higher chance of divorce if they marry, but the risk is mostly true for those who have cohabited with multiple partners.
A common belief is that living together before marriage provides an opportunity to get to know each other better, but research has found those that live together before marriage have already developed some leniency towards divorce. This leniency towards divorce is what leads the couple to become high risk. However, there are some caveats to these findings. In her dissertation and forthcoming book , marriage and family therapist Crystal Hemesath defines falling out of romantic love as a lack of sexual attraction, emotional connectedness or sense of relationship togetherness.
Hemesath interviewed 15 adults. I was unhappy in year one and I stayed 17 more. I hoped that it would change. I think a lot of people stay in … for fear of the unknown. It sort of takes your soul away. Among those 50 and over, there may simply be irreconcilable differences with how one chooses to live the rest of his or her life and the type of love and companionship one desires. The pattern in marriage and divorce across both age groups highlights the rise in individualism in our culture.
Today, adults have more agency to chart their own life paths based on options they perceive as being available to them. And because society is more supportive of other ways of forming families, adults are more apt to take their time to marry, if they want to, and exit, if they need to, in order to be happy.
Sociologist Philip Cohen summed up this issue in a September Bloomberg article. Portsmouth Climate Festival — Portsmouth, Portsmouth.
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